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Top 10 Worst Movies ever
Published on 5/17/2006
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966): where are the credits?!
This is a no-budget horror film made by an El Paso, Texas fertilizer salesman. It is famous for having an opening nine-minute sequence in which nothing happens but endless driving through the countryside, due to someone forgetting to add in the credits!.
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1956): almost starring Bela Lugosi
The film is introduced and narrated by television psychic The Amazing Criswell, and involves aliens who attempt to conquer the Earth by resurrecting corpses from a cemetery. The aliens have divined that the human race will soon develop the ultimate weapon: a "solaranite bomb" (or "solarbonite") that can "explode the particles of sunlight" and ultimately destroy the universe. They have attempted eight times to persuade humanity not to build the bomb, but find themselves unable to even get humanity's attention. "Plan 9", their plan to resurrect the dead, is their final, desperate attempt. Unbelievably, this is all claimed to be based on sworn testimony, even though Criswell says it takes place in the future.
Anus Magillicutty (2003): the anti-movie that anti-matters
The film focuses on the character Anus, who is obsessed with alcohol and sex. The story involves Anus' efforts to hide a dead body. Eventually, however, Anus also has a run-in with Satan. As Anus explains to his brother, "Remember that contract we had with Satan? To make us beautiful? ...I think he's come to collect."
Gigli (2003): The end of Bennyfer
Originally a very dark comedy with no romantic subplot, the producers demanded script rewrites throughout filming. Some reviewers dubbed the film "The ultimate turkey of all time", referring to Lopez's character's sex talk to Affleck's character inviting him to commit an act of oral sex: "It's turkey time." "What?" "Gobble, gobble."
Monster A Go Go (1965): No continuity, incomprehensible non-ending
The plot concerns an American astronaut who mysteriously disappears from his spacecraft as it parachutes to Earth. The vanished astronaut is apparently replaced by and/or turned into a large, radioactive, humanoid monster. A team of scientists and military men attempt to capture the monster--and at one point succeed, only to have him escape again (however, both the capture and the escape are never shown, with only the narrator revealing this to us).
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002): even the game was better
Starring Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas, the film was universally panned by critics and is believed to have no redeeming features (not even the comedy value normally associated with bad films). It is often listed among the worst movies ever made. Financially, the film was a box office failure, grossing just over $14 million compared to its $70 million budget. Liu and Banderas play opposing secret agents who are supposedly enemies, but rather than fighting each other they end up teaming up to take down the megalomaniacal director of the NSA.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964): martians kidnap Santa Claus
Momar ("Mom Martian") and Kimar ("King Martian") are worried that their martian children are watching too much Earth television, most notably station KIDD's interview with Santa Claus in his workshop at the North Pole. So Martian leaders decide to kidnap Santa Claus from Earth and bring him to Mars to make toys for the children of their planet.
From Justin to Kelly (2003): From Theater To Video
The movie features Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, the winner and runner-up of the first series of American Idol, respectively. Texan singing waitress Kelly Taylor (played by Clarkson) meets Pennsylvania college student Justin Bell (played by Guarini), they fall for each other, and then spend the rest of the movie trying to get together.
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1997): directed by Alan Smithee
In the film, an editor by the name of Alan Smithee (played by Eric Idle) has been allowed to direct Trio, a big-budget action film starring Sylvester Stallone, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jackie Chan. However, the studio recuts the film, and when Smithee sees the results (which he describes as being "worse than Showgirls") and realises that he cannot use a pseudonym (because the only one allowed is "Alan Smithee") he steals the film and goes on the run, threatening to burn it.
Batman & Robin (1997): or how Batman became gay
The fourth installment of the Warner Bros. franchise that began with 1989's Batman and the lowest-grossing of the film series. This film is often billed as the worst superhero movie of all time, even to the point that star George Clooney said he would refund people's money if they stopped him on the street and said they had paid to see it.
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