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The Top 10 Dumbest Personal Names ever
Published on 12/5/2005

Optimus Prime has got you covered

Optimus Prime (born 1971) is a U.S. Army Ohio National Guard firefighter.
His name is taken from the character of the same name in the Transformers cartoon series. He legally changed his name to Optimus Prime in May of 2001, on his 30th birthday, because the show character was like a "father figure" for him when he was growing up. His former name has not been disclosed.
The name appears on his driver's license, military ID, and even his uniform. Maybe on his next birthday he'll be Megatron.


Winner Lane was a Loser after all

Winner and Loser Lane are the sixth and seventh children of Robert Lane, respectively. They are notable primarily for their unusual first names, but also for their fate being quite the reverse of what their names would suggest.
The only noteworthy achievement of Winner Lane, born in 1958, is his criminal record - nearly three dozen arrests for burglary, domestic violence, trespassing, resisting arrest and other crimes.
On the contrary, Loser Lane, born in 1961, graduated from Lafayette College in Pennsylvania, and joined the New York Police Department. He eventually advanced to become sergeant.
So who's the pathetic Loser now?!


Cardinal Sin goes to church

Jaime Cardinal Sin, was a priest of the Roman Catholic Church in the Philippines. He led the Archdiocese of Manila as its archbishop and was later elevated to the rank of cardinal by Pope Paul VI.
His name prompted many jokes --a "cardinal sin" is one of the seven deadly sins-- and Sin himself made light of it. He often referred to his residence as "the house of Sin."... to which you're all invited, ya.





It's just a Cotton Mather

Cotton Mather (born 1663) was a socially and politically-influential "Puritan" minister, prolific author, and pamphleteer. Author of more than 450 books and pamphlets, Cotton Mather's ubiquitous literary works made him one of the most influential religious leaders in America.
Cotton Mather was the son of Increase Mather, an influential minister. But his father's name is not the Matter of this article.


How Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 learned to spell

Pronounced /'al,bin/, Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 was the name intended for a Swedish child who was born in 1991.
The boy's parents had planned to never legally name him at all, as a protest to the strict child-naming rules of the Swedish government.
Because the parents (Elizabeth Hallin and an unidentified father) failed to register a name by the boy's fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor (equivalent to approximately US$ 650 or € 525). Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43-character name In May 1996, claiming that it was "a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation". The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine.
The parents then tried to change the spelling of the name to, simply, "A" instead. Once again, the court did not approve of the parents' ideas for naming, for in Sweden it is prohibited to have a name of only one letter.
The Swedish government is boring.


Wait, it's Dr Evil's Moon Unit Zappa

Frank Zappa, the famous american singer, guitarist, composer and satirist had four children, which he named: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Muffin Zappa
One time when Frank was a guest on the Tonight Show, guest-host Jay Leno asked Zappa why he had given his children such unusual names. Zappa answered, in a casual tone of voice, "Because I wanted to!". And that was that.
In Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me, a unit of Dr Evil's guards on the moon was called "Moon Unit Zappa".


Let the World B. Free

World B. Free (born 1953) is a former professional basketball player who played in the NBA from 1975-1988. World was known as the "Prince of Midair" as well as "All-World". In 1980, he had his first name legally changed from "Lloyd" to "World".


He was a Thursday October Christian

Thursday October Christian (born October 1790) was the first son of Fletcher Christian (leader of the mutiny on the HMAV Bounty) and his Tahitian wife Maimiti. He was conceived on Tahiti, and was the first child born on Pitcairn after the mutineers took refuge on the island.
Born on a Thursday in October, he was given his unusual name because Fletcher Christian wanted his son to have "no name that will remind me of England". But hey, isn't his name in English?


Eagle-Eye Cherry sees everything

This American-Swedish singer is known best for his hit "Save Tonight". The name Eagle-Eye was given to him at birth because his father thought he had the eyes of an eagle. Luckily, the father didn't noticed he also had pig's hands.


That place on Picabo Street

Picabo Street (born April 3, 1971 in Triumph, Idaho) is an American skier, now retired and living in Portland, Oregon. She is named after the town of Picabo, Idaho, and was raised on a small farm in Triumph. She first joined the United States Ski Team in 1989, at the age of 17.






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